i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
two words: eviction party
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
