My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
