I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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