I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pants are for mortals
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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