i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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