mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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