it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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