Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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