You're so nebulous sometimes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
