Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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