There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
