you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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