Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
