It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
