Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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