erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
