what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
