Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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