so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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