I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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