it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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