just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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