Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
