we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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