The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
