yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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