I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
