would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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