My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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