I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
