they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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