Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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