Umm I'm too high to move.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
