I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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