I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
