I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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