This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
