i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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