With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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