Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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