Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
