I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
