do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
