They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
