Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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