Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
