your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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