your parents love me but you hate me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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