Yo dont text me then not text me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i came on her dog
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
