Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
