I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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