This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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