Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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